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The International College of Celebrancy is a business name owned by Dally M Publishing and Research Pty Ltd ABN 29 006 569 099.
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Jan 16, 2007
Jan 16, 2007
Letters to the Age by Dally Messenger and John Dean
Saying “I do” to the simple way - 16/01/07)
Your interesting but frivolous piece (Saying “I do” to the simple way - 16/01/07) misrepresented the true position as it is occurring in our society. The short Registry Office ceremony and the “fun” celebrant are exceptions. The traditional wedding is not a thing of the past. Maybe the traditional church wedding is, but there is a core of genuinely professional celebrants who create ceremonies of meaning, substance and beauty, planned and rehearsed, and delivered as relationship-strengthening events to remember.
Committed relationships are difficult. But they bring wonderful happiness when they are successful. Good celebrant weddings focus on key values, and a ceremony plan which seriously creates a compact. It involves friends and family so that a community of support for the couple is established. Ceremonies of sincerity, meaning, substance and power bring about long term psychological, behavioral and positive attitudinal change, This enriches the love between the persons by both resolution and memory. That is why we have wedding ceremonies - even though some miss the point.
Every profession has practitioners who, let us say, do not represent Best Practice. Why give them the publicity?
Dally Messenger III
To the Editor of “The Age” and Dewi Cooke (from John Dean, with permission),
I have read with interest your article in today’s “The Age” (Saying ‘I do’ to the simple way).
I found it to be rather flippant and superficial to say the least. We, as civil celebrants, are duty bound to remind the couple publicly, “of the solemn, the serious and the binding nature of the relationship they are about to enter”.
The article trivialises the marriage ceremony to the extent that it is an insult to serious, professional celebrants who conduct ordered ceremonies that are focussed on the bride and groom and which make their marriage a warm, friendly and memorable experience – one of substance, and a day to remember, for all the right reasons.
The civil celebrant’s very existence, and the high percentage of couples who choose a civil ceremony, has arisen out of the conviction of “non-churched” citizens not wanting to be hypocritical by pretending to “go along” with church doctrine and ideologies that are contrary to their beliefs. To trivialise their desire to have a meaningful and morally significant ceremony is, to my mind, surreal and bizarre.
Why don’t you seek the opinions of those celebrants (e.g. International College of Celebrancy, Swinburne University, Victoria University, Monash University, etc.) who place due and appropriate emphasis on best practice?
© D and R Messenger
from the Celebrants Centre.
03 9419 0460